Fielder and Contra-Causal Free Agency

The Onion has the following funny story:

NEWPORT BEACH, CA—After meeting with his agent Monday to discuss his free agency prospects, Prince Fielder told reporters he was left wondering if he or any man can ever say his agency is truly free. "Free agency suggests I am able to make a choice void of any constraint, but right from the get-go, that premise is problematic," said Fielder, adding that it isn't as if he can just get a job as an acoustical engineer, or even as a professional athlete in another sport. "In the end, I am not an autonomous entity who can choose a path based on multiple options. Instead, I am one link in a causal chain, so my actions are merely the inevitable product of lawful causes stemming from prior events. What I'm saying is, I'm essentially limited to the 30 baseball organizations in North America; realistic, long-term socioeconomic factors have already decided which cities can support a team that pays the kind of salary I demand; and roster decisions dating all the way back to the invention of the game have determined which teams are in need of a first baseman today—so there are only a few clubs that could logically take me. And human nature will compel me to pick the one that offers the best, highest salary." Fielder concluded the press conference by saying that he is essentially a determinist, and that he enjoys hitting baseballs.

Good stuff!

Comments

[V. Alan White]

Unilke Fielder's real free agency, this is priceless!! Thanks Thomas for the laugh!

For once it's nice to brag that I teach in Wisconsin, home of both The Onion and The Brewers. (Not so happy with the Pack right now!--Though I know Joe is very happy with his Giants!)

[Norm Bearrentine]

We need more football players like Fielder. :o)

[Manuel "Don't Black Me Out" Vargas]

Go Niners.

And yeah, the Onion is great. They just need a philosophy column like NYT's "The Stone."

[Joe Campbell]

Baseball and free will: it just doesn't get any better than that! And the Giants will beat the Packers, Manuel. Your revisionism cannot change that inevitability.